Yahoo – We realize that this is a bit of a cheap shot, lobbed from afar, but as continued hints and passed-along reports of LeBron James’ terrible tipping habits keep getting shipped to us, we feel it our duty to pass along Peter Pattakos’ interview with a Cleveland-area steakhouse server.
“(S)he also told us that LeBron liked to drink apple martinis, which comes as no surprise because apple martinis are delicious, and if you had a job where you could take a four-hour nap every day to sleep off the sugar hangover, you would drink them, too. Relatedly, LeBron would ask his servers to have his steak (well done) already cut up for him, which corroborates a report by a (former?) server at Johnny’s who once told [fellow reporter Vince] Grzegorek that LeBron would order his spaghetti cut up as well, and also of course enhances the credibility of our source.”
Fucking perfect. Listen I don’t even give a fuck that Lebron drinks Appletinis. My favorite drink in the world is Sangria and I’ve been called a pussy for it so I won’t get on him for that. But requesting your steak be cut up for you at a restaurant? It just sums up everything you’ve ever needed to know about Bron Bron. Like this is what happens when you’ve literally never had to do anything for yourself in your entire life. When everything has been handed to you on a silver platter. This is why he disappeared against the Mavs in the NBA Finals last year. This is why he quit in the playoffs against the Celtics. Because when the going gets tough and people don’t cut up his steak or roll over for him he’s helpless. He has zero competitiveness and zero survival skills and it shows everytime he is faced with adversity. He’s a bum and a loser who can’t even eat a filet if it’s not cut into tiny pieces for his ass.
PS – Sangria is the truth.