Barstool Sports

(DailyDot) — U.K.-based insurance company ALLOW announced the country’s first “social media insurance” plan Tuesday, promising to protect customers against “reputational damage, account jacking and all other forms of ID theft.” “The cover, which has been put in place for the benefit of all of our subscribers from today, will pay for legal advice and expert support in the event of a claim and is included in our service at no additional cost,” Josh Quirke wrote on ALLOW’s blog. ALLOW will offer up to £10,000 ($16,250 USD) in fees and costs for any one incident or £3,500 ($5,690 USD) towards any reputational damage for around £3.99 ($6.50 USD) a month, and will offer new customers 30 days of free coverage. A 2011 Sophos report found that 600,000 Facebook accounts are hacked daily, and more than 55,000 Twitter passwords were leaked last May. Many younger users are now more conscious of the risks involved with using social media and would consider purchasing insurance to protect their personal image, according to a CII study.

ALLOW insurance must thank god that there’s a sucker born every second. Social media insurance? That’s what you’re peddling to protect one’s personal image? First of all, if you have social media your personal image is already ruined. You’ll never be president. There are pictures of you funneling beers and smoking weed and puking and passed out with dicks drawn all over your face. Odds are your personal image is shattered. But if somehow you’re a goody two shoes and escaped all this, what’s the point of insurance? What’s the worst a hacker can do to your facebook page? Oh no someone went on my book and changed my status to “feels so good to admit i’m gay!” Thank god I got that $6.50 a month insurance for reputational damage or all my closest friends would actually think I’ve just been sitting at home watching Clueless and shoving gerbils up my ass for the last few years.