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Brandon Jacobs Tells Gisele To Get Back In the Kitchen

NY Post – Giants running back Brandon Jacobs has some advice for budding football analyst Gisele Bundchen. “She just needs to continue to be cute and shut up,” Jacobs said of Tom Brady’s wife at the MetLife Stadium rally for the Super Bowl champion Giants.

Is it possible to feel bad for the luckiest man in the world? Because I think I’m starting to feel bad for Tom Brady. The guy with more superbowl rings than any active player. The guy who is the face of the NFL. The guy who is married to a supermodel who makes like 9 bizillion more dollars than him. The guy whose infant son already has a bigger dick than me. Yup I’m starting to feel bad for that guy. How did this happen so fast? Well it’s bad enough that he got outplayed yet again by Eli Manning in the superbowl. But then his wife opens her fat yap and makes him look like an asshole. And before he can even address it you have Brandon Jacobs telling Gisele to get back in the kitchen. Listen I don’t care who you are there is nothing worse in the world than having another man who you can’t beat up tell you to control your woman. And then the coup de gras is that Bradying is now actually a thing on the Internet. People just taking pictures of themselves sitting on the ground like a loser and calling themselves Brady. How the fuck did we get here? Tom Brady being the butt of people’s jokes? Is this earth? Like I am honeslty starting to feel bad the guy. Just sitting in his mansion, fucking his supermodel wife figuring out ways to spend his billions. Sucks to be him.

By elpresidente posted February 8th, 2012 at 9:30 AM

36 Responses to Brandon Jacobs Tells Gisele To Get Back In the Kitchen

by baumer on February 8th, 2012 at 9:36 AM

i'd feel bad for him but i'm not down with the gays.
by bradyblowsbellicheat on February 8th, 2012 at 9:41 AM

Jacobs is most likely just upset that his wife is an awful looking dyke. Now Giselle is no prize herself these days (for an nfl quarterback) she looks about 60 years old in the face. Still a smoking body and her dancing can keep me occupied for hours. Here's Jacobs lesbian wife. http://ourfaithinaction.net/2011/back-from-the-dead-plaxico-buress-and-the-friend-who-believed-in-him/brandon-jacobs-and-wife/
by DooBAH on February 8th, 2012 at 9:43 AM

Sure, sure, he's a total bad-ass now, having just won the Super Bowl and all, but Brandon Jacobs may feel much differently next year when he's out of a job and is wrestling his 307 lb. wife for the last fried-chicken drumstick in the bucket.
by chi town on February 8th, 2012 at 9:44 AM

Adam Vinatieri has more rings than Brady. Idiot kicker > Brady
by coolio on February 8th, 2012 at 9:48 AM

Black people are the worst.
by stro on February 8th, 2012 at 9:53 AM

I'm a Giants fan and I don't approve of this message. This is coming from a guy who won't be on the Giants next season.
by tornopen on February 8th, 2012 at 9:54 AM

@chi town -- Adam Vinatieri is not the "idiot kicker" that was Vanderjagt or however you spell that dickheads name.
by bigjohnstud on February 8th, 2012 at 9:55 AM

Too bad no one said that to Jacobs wife when she was at Northeastern last Thursday.
by thc2293 on February 8th, 2012 at 10:08 AM

pres he didn't say anything about gisele going into a kitchen....there you go again pretending and making shit up @coolio generalization of black people....smooth and yea jacobs' prob wont be on their squad next year.
by There are no Black People in Brockton on February 8th, 2012 at 10:14 AM

Chi town is correct. 4>3
by EZBreezey2222 on February 8th, 2012 at 10:24 AM

@chi-town - Robert Horry's rings > Kobe, Lebron, Rose, Nash, Wade, Dwight, CP3, Carmelo, Amare, and Durant's rings COMBINED. but i guess you make a valid point.....
by getfucked on February 8th, 2012 at 10:34 AM

scumbag black guy... what a shock..
by bvincent on February 8th, 2012 at 10:55 AM

Everything is catching up with Tom Tom... he couldn't expect to play mediocre football his entire life and get away with it. He's a fraud and now everyone knows. I knew this day would come, and I fucking love every minute of it. The funny thing is, he's actually playing BETTER football now than he was when he was winning superbowls. So yeah I kind of feel bad for him at the same time.
by thc2293 on February 8th, 2012 at 11:15 AM

You can't love love racism, bigotry, prejudice in Boston. YOUVE DONE WELL PRES
by clubber lang on February 8th, 2012 at 11:20 AM

Tom Brady left his old girlfriend when she was pregnant. The dude's a scumbag. and Karma's a bitch.
by thc2293 on February 8th, 2012 at 11:26 AM

Ray Allen Paul Pierce Kevin Garnett if the big 3 were not in celtics uniforms. EVERY person from Boston and New England, would say they should be in prison or are thugs. FACT STAY CLASSY BOSTON
by terroristical on February 8th, 2012 at 11:27 AM

Nothing is cuter than some black telling someone's wife to shut up. Who does this animal think he is?
by ningenito on February 8th, 2012 at 11:28 AM

I'd feel bad for him but I'm not down with the gays....hahaha. Good shit.
by meowmix on February 8th, 2012 at 11:43 AM

Wow, what an ugly whorebag Jacobs has for a wife. She looks like Matt Light.
by klusk66 on February 8th, 2012 at 11:45 AM

Brandon Jacobs is a total fucking ASS CLOWN. I love how he's still talking about another team's player and his wife after his team won the Super Bowl. Way to be professional, Jacobs. Nice to know the Patriots are still relevant in his mind after his Super Bowl victory. Nice to know we're still the team to beat. PUSSY.
by bigjohnstud on February 8th, 2012 at 12:04 PM

Are there no racists in NY, NJ, or CT? NO way all my in-laws are huge racists! Boston is a beacon of liberal thought so are we racist and liberal? Maybe Brandon Jacobs is an asshole and it's fun to throw some jabs at him.
by lookoutcookout on February 8th, 2012 at 12:05 PM

Hey super fan, Vinatieri has more rings than Brady.
by johncoffey on February 8th, 2012 at 12:08 PM

good one bvincent, I laughed...
by tornopen on February 8th, 2012 at 12:10 PM

I figured out why Jacibs is such a strong powerful runner (when he takes his head out of his ass and actually put full effort in).... his beast man-wife must put on the pads every night and help him with drills. Shit, she looks tougher than any NFL linebacker, if you can get past that whale, guys like Brian Urlacher seem like Urkel.
by tornopen on February 8th, 2012 at 12:51 PM

@thc2293 -- not Ray Allen. He is largely considered one of the classiest and most dignified men in the NBA.
by beanflicka on February 8th, 2012 at 1:11 PM

Am I the only one who isn't taking that Gisele comment the way the media is making it out to be???? A dumbass Giants fan yells, "He's got to catch the ball when he's supposed to catch it". Have I left earth. How is this ripping the receivers. The Brazilian bombshell was giving that phony new yorker a football lesson. Quarterbacks generally don't catch the ball. Everyone is an fucking idiot
by Tha_Dro_Man on February 8th, 2012 at 2:11 PM

fuck all this nonsense. everyone acting like a super bowl loss destroys your legacy. acting like the winning team is in first place and the losing team falls to 32nd. just nonsense. super bowl APPEARANCES are good thing for your legacy. does it suck to lose? sure. but it ain't the end of the world. honestly, the amount of undeserved hate brady gets is just testament to how good he is. Brady's timeline: lovable underdog backup QB who leads team on a miraculous super bowl run, and everyone loves him; two years later, another superbowl, now people start saying he's for real, and a few are butthurt that their team's QB is worse; third super bowl, guaranteed HOF status, and now the whole country is butthurt that he plays for us and not them, and it's now fashionable to hate him, b/c he's living a life most people only dream of, and people can't stand to see people be more successful than themselves; then the spygate "scandal", the most overblown shit in the history of sports happens, proving how butthurt the world is about brady and the pats, and that gave "legitimate" ammo against them. and now people say we're 0-fer in SB's since spygate, as if not taping signals made us fall from first to last, and not first to second. the pats are STILL successful, spygate or no spygate. pipe the fuck down about brady, you fucking haters. you just play yourself. it makes him look good, and you look bad.
by tittysucker on February 8th, 2012 at 2:26 PM

Brady's a fag (insert pic of him going down waterslide). he's over.
by Harry Johnson on February 8th, 2012 at 2:40 PM

Granted, Jizzele (see what I did there?) said something dumb, but why would Jacobs feel the need to get involved? His team won, he's just making himself look like a world-class douche. Wow, a 6'5 260 dude tells a skinny white chick to "shut up." He must really feel like a man now.
by rexisfat on February 8th, 2012 at 2:52 PM

If Jacobs wasn't in the NFL, he'd be in prison. True Story.
by gberro12 on February 8th, 2012 at 3:02 PM

I wonder if pres is bradying now that the world knows his Jew beak is bigger than his dick, well I guess everyone already assumed that anyway
by DoyleBrunsonsSaggySack on February 8th, 2012 at 3:46 PM

Until Jacobs can get his wife to put down the Ho Hos and take a few steps on the treadmill, he should refrain from providing instructions about what another man should do with his (supermodel) wife. Christ, looks like he only outweighs her by 10 or 12 lbs. Pres, you need pictures of Jacobs wife in this post and you need them yesterday.
by DoyleBrunsonsSaggySack on February 8th, 2012 at 3:52 PM

Jesus. I just looked at another picture of them together...it doesn't look *that* bad until you consider he's 6'4", 265. Fuck sake...she must go 6', 210. Thank god for black men, so the chubbies have someone to give em the love.
by Tha_Dro_Man on February 8th, 2012 at 4:03 PM

you know what, tittysucker? they always say when you win a championship, "no one can ever take it away from you." and as much as you hate it, nothing in the world can ever take away brady's three rings. he may get more, he may not. but even if he is over like you say he is, he'll be an all-time legend. you're very short-sighted if you think any of this destroys his legacy. i think you giants fans should really be celebrating the tremendous accomplishment your team just pulled off, and spend a lot less time dancing on the patriots' grave. makes you look real pathetic, y'know? for a town that brags so much about how many championships it's teams have one, you sure don't act like you've been there before.
by Tha_Dro_Man on February 8th, 2012 at 4:05 PM

*it's teams have WON.....oops. thanks a lot, boston public school system.
by classless on February 8th, 2012 at 5:33 PM

What exactly did Jacobs do again in the game? Oh right nothing.