Back in the spring, I broke up with a girl I’d been dating for a long time because I finally realized she’s not the person I want to marry. Even though I’m only 24 years old, marriage is something that’s on my radar. I met a girl in January through a community theater group and we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. If she were single, I would definitely be interested. But she’s been with her boyfriend for a little more than a year. We have a lot in common and her relationship status didn’t stop me from some harmless flirting. But she seems to have started flirting back. At an event recently, she walked by and put her hand around my waist and gently squeezed my ribs. And we started carpooling, just the two of us, at her invitation.
We happened to drive by a locally famous restaurant and I asked if she’d ever been, and she hadn’t. Obviously I wanted to ask her to go there on a date with me, but I had to respect her relationship status and her boyfriend’s feelings. So I told her she should go, or at least ask her boyfriend to take her. She replied, “Or we could just go before you leave [for graduate school].”
I was really surprised she said “we” could go, especially considering she’s in a relationship, even though it sounds like she may be uneasy about it. But do you think she’s just being a flirt? After all, she’s in theater, is this whole thing just an act?
– Hopeless Romantic, Providence
Meredith Hoss Goldstein’s Answer
A: I think she’s flirting because you’re safe. You can let this be your pre-Boston crush, have the nice dinner, and then move away — or you can disclose your feelings and ask if she reciprocates. Dinner is not a big deal. Friends go to dinner all of the time. Instead of trying to decode her motives, think about your own. Dinner is just about all you can do right now. If you eventually decide that you really want more, put it out there and see what happens.
Readers? Should he confront her about his feelings? Is she just flirting? Is dinner a big deal? Is she lining up? Guesses about the restaurant? Help.
El Pres Answer
Dear Hopeless Romantic,
Hey wake up bro. This chick isn’t flirting with you. She thinks you’re a gayball. And guess what? I’m pretty sure she’s right. I mean I’m not trying to be a dick, but did you even read the letter you just wrote? You pretty much spelled it out for yourself. You’re dying to get married. You are in a community theater group. You’re too big of a pussy to make a move on a chick. You wrote a letter to Hoss Goldstein. Gay, super gay, gay, super gay. No wonder she wants to hang out. Chicks LOVE gay dudes. Can’t have enough gayball friends. It’s nothing to be ashamed about though. It’s 2013. Gays are in. Own that shit. So my advice would be to loosen up and suck a cock. You’ll feel better in the morning.