Reader Email – Does Impaling Your Foot With A Pitchfork While Mulching The Flower Beds For Your Parents Get My Bro Laid?

Reader Email 

Hey prez so the other day my buddy joe was mulching the beds for his parents and was using a pitchfork to do so when he accidentally got the pitchfork in his foot and EMS had to cut it with bolt cutters and take him to the hospital to have the rest removed as stupid as he is he’s one tough fuck so does getting a pitchfork stuck in his foot get joe laid

Ps – the tooth on the pitchfork went all the way through his foot and stuck in the bottom of his spery topsider they couldn’t get the shoe off until surgery

I hate when this happens. One second you’re minding your own business just mulching the bed and the next second you got a pitchfork in your fucking toe. The absolute worst. Bro can’t even take his freaking Sperry off. Pitchfork just running shit up in this house. Making a mockery of his foot. Now as far as whether it gets him laid or not? Who fucking knows? Maybe there are some mulch freaks out there. But to be honest I’ve never mulched a day in my life so I wouldn’t know. Seriously who the fuck mulches the bed with a pitchfork?