Meryl Streep, Old, Addresses World’s 34,623rd-Most Important Issue: MMA

Hey Meryl. Why don’t you go fuck yourself?

Did you really just use your “Sorry you’re gonna die soon, here’s a sympathy award” speech to identify every minority in the room, and say if they weren’t around all we’d have is football and mixed martial arts? MMA, a sport that currently has 5 foreign world champions?

I zoned out during your speech, much like I have in your movies, so I’m not even sure what you were talking about. You pointed out every minority in the room like they were a sight to see, which may have been the norm in the ’20s when you were growing up, but it’s a little rude, now, Meryl. Welcome to 2017. We’re not all white, and it’s rude to point and stare. We’re not all Africans, either, like you said we were last year.

(Yeah, don’t think I forgot about that, you hag. That’s cultural appropriation at it’s finest.)

Did you see Ronda Rousey get destroyed at UFC 207 and realize she’s comin’ for that ass in Hollywood? I mean, if YOU can win every goddamn award there’s ever been, surely she can. Oh wait, let’s not forget: you HAVEN’T won every award there’s ever been. You’re 3 for 19 in Oscars. Nice .158 batting average, Streep.

But hey, at least you got to share your cause with the world!

“Young people should stop hitting each other so hard! It’s mean!”

We got Leo winning Oscars and talking about climate change, Loki talking about humanitarian shit, and here you are, telling me that you take offense to mixed martial arts being considered art because there’s too many white people in it. What a fucking hero you are. Give me a break.

P.S. Not even mad tho. Not even a little bit.

P.P.S. I fell asleep during Mamma Mia. In the theater. Boom roasted.

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