So after last night’s blog I couldn’t stop thinking about Melissa King and Farrah Abraham getting after it. Typically, I’m exaggerating when I say a cat fight turns me on, but I 100% am not here. If any chick fight has a chance to turn into a lesbian porn, it’s this one. Like if Farrah happened to see a nipple pop-out I think she’d see an opportunity for publicity and just go Romulus and Remus all over that thing. And once you start sucking nipples you know everything is in play. So what I’m saying is I’ve been fantasizing about this cat fight for 12 hours and decided to make a tale of the tape. Winner gets to be my favorite pseudo-famous amateur pornstar (high stakes, big purse)…
It was a tough bout. Farrah took the lead in the early round with a far superior blowjob. The onslaught continued when that blowjob quickly turned into anal. The third round was a bloodbath (horrible word choice when discussing porn but I’m sticking with it) as Farrah brought out the anal and the squirting, moves mine eyes haven’t seen since the days of Flower Tucci.
However, when it comes down to amateur porn we all know there are other factors in play. Melissa dominated Farrah in the late rounds with the “girl next door” look, which is crucial in amateur. She brought out the heavy artillery with seeming like an all around cool chick (I looked at her Instagram for a solid hour doing research. To the point where I had to pull myself away because I felt like a stalker. But, it’s cool because in reality I’m just a dedicated journalist), whereas Farrah is 1. a sociopath, 2. a fame whore fit for the Kardashian family. King is just a cool, down to ride chick who happened to have sex on camera. Abraham is a manipulative, fame-seeker made of plastic (surgery in amateur porn is a huge deduction point). The final KO blow came in the 12th round when my mind remembered that Farrah Abraham is a mom. Milf-teen-amateur-anal-squirting is just too many genres to handle in a single scene.
So without further ado, introducing the new favorite pseudo-famous amateur pornstar of blogger/amateur pornstar John Feitelberg… Melissa King!!!!
Your turn. Vote 1 for Melissa, 10 for Farrah
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