Lolo Jones Is Boycotting 50 Shades Of Grey Because God Wouldn’t Approve

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(TMZ) — Lolo Jones — U.S. Olympian and self-proclaimed virgin — says “Fifty Shades of Grey” is an abomination … and people should boycott the movie because it glamorizes unholy sex. Jones — who’s also a devout Evangelical Christian — went to Twitter and wrote, “Funny how some people think there’s nothing wrong with 50 shades of Grey. God didn’t create sex for that purpose.” She added, “Watch another movie.” Jones then explained her stance … saying the movie’s hypersexual plot makes people feel that sex for pleasure is the answer to emotional pain.

Guess Lolo is going to be the only basic ass, annoying chick who won’t be spending 15 bucks to see Christian Grey period fuck his assistant this month. Lolo’s so worthless (that’s a harsh word but I can’t really think of another one for her. She sucks at running, sucks at bobsledding, sucks at Twitter, sucks at thinking… she really sucks at everything) that all she’s good for is a laugh when she pops up with a “virginity is the best!” quote every once in a while. But you know what? I’ll give her this one. God probably didn’t create sex so people can get tied up and fucked. But that’s where we’re at now. We’ve improved it for God. He didn’t create the internet for porn, but that’s how it’s best used. Didn’t create cows for steak, but that’s why I like them. I prefer barley in my beer rather than my bread. God just gives us a rough draft and we find better, more fun ways to do shit. He was like “here’s sex, do it and then in 9 months she feels a lot of pain” but we decided “ehhhhh hand me those beads, let’s put them in your ass and do the pain part now.”

 

 

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