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The people wanted it, they got it. El Pres takes his turn on KFC Radio to discuss such hard hitting topics as grinding on a chick with a boner, who would play who in the Barstool movie, would you fuck your stalker, chicks farting, and how ugly a celeb you’re willing to date.
My biggest issue with this episode is the first question: grinding on chicks with boners. I wanted to express this before Pres went full “kill the gay!” on me, but that is for middle schoolers. I’m an adult. Getting a rock hard boner via fully clothed dancing is like when all you needed was a Victoria’s Secret magazine to get off as a kid. Need a little more stimulation than that now, fellas. Some chick grinding her rough jeans into my button fly is like a BDSM scene, it hurts just enough for it to still feel good. But it’s not enough to give me a full-on, 100%, sex boner. Fuck no. It will get me to the point where I think “fuck yea I might have a bit of a bulge for the first time in my life” so I get as close as humanly possible to the chick but am I ever worried about almost coming on the dance floor? Absolutely not. And if you are worried about it then you’re either 13 or a nerd.
Name me one movie where they’re at a party and it’s the cool guy who has to run off the dance floor covering his dick because he drew wood? Can’t be done.
Call the Barstool Hotline and leave us a voicemail for next week. 646-80-STOOL (646-807-8665). Keep the voicemails under 30 seconds or they’re probably going to get cut. We have extremely short attention spans.
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