Johnny Weir Bans Mutual Masturbation/Aggressive Flirting And Oral Sex Outside The Marriage Which Seems Like A Very Un Johnny Weir Thing To Do

(It’s good to be bad!)

TMZ – Johnny Weir wrote a 5-page post-nup which is part of his newfangled reconciliation package with Victor Voronov — and Johnny makes it clear mutual masturbation will NOT be tolerated. TMZ broke the story … Johnny and Victor agreed over the weekend to call off their divorce, but Victor wanted Johnny to sign a document apologizing for trashing Victor in the media and promising to keep Johnny’s mom out of their relationship.

So Johnny fired back with a document of his own, which, among other things, defines the type of cheating that will not be tolerated. The document — obtained by TMZ — lists the following:

– sex outside the marriage
— oral sex outside the marriage
— kissing or making out
— sexting
— aggressive flirting
— mutual masturbation
— social media/grindr/dating

The document also requires joint STD tests every 6 months with the results being read with both in the room.

Does Johnny Weir and Victor Voronov have the most volatile, electric, combustible relationship of all time or what? Dogs being taken hostage, Faberge eggs being stolen, mud slinging, reconciliation and now this. An insane list of demands from Johnny Weir. No aggressive flirting? No mutual masturbation? No social media? No oral sex outside the marriage? Jesus Christ. Might as well be dead. More importantly why would Johnny put these things in the contract? He’s the one with the big swinging dick in this relationship. He’s the one who everybody wants to fuck. Seems like Victor should be the prude who wants to ban mutual masturbation and oral sex outside the marriage. Strange.

PS – If the first lady tried to get me to sign something that banned aggressive flirting and social media creeping I’d probably just give her the keys to the Barstool kingdom and go on my merry way. Aggressive flirting is my thing. Can’t live without it.