I Can't Be The Only One Who Thinks Lilly King Needs To Shut Up

RIO DE JANEIRO – Swimming star Lilly King took her crusade against doping to a new level following her victory in the 100-meter breaststroke final on Monday, by insisting that American athletes previously banned for drug offenses should have been kicked off the United States team. King relegated Russia’s Yulia Efimova, a confirmed drug cheat who was controversially reinstated into the Olympic program just hours before competition started last week, to the silver medal after a long war of words regarding whether her rival should have been allowed to swim. When asked if U.S. athletes who have fallen foul of the drug testers, such as sprinters Justin Gatlin and Tyson Gay, deserved to be in Rio, King, 19, pulled no punches. “I have to respect (the track authorities’) decision even if it is something I don’t necessarily agree with,” King said. “No, do I think people who have been caught doping should be on the team? They shouldn’t. It is unfortunate we have to see that. “It is just something that needs to be set in stone that this is what we are going to do. Let’s settle this and be done with it. There should not be any bouncing back and forwards.”

I’m not an idiot — well, I’m not a huge idiot — so I know how that headline is going to be received. I know Lilly King is America’s sweetheart right now and I wholeheartedly agree that the finger wag at the Russian and then backing your shit up was probably the most exciting part of the Olympics yet. But Lilly, let’s take it easy, huh? She’s the classic 19 year old who thinks she’s a hot shit who knows everything. You want a lifetime ban for doping? That’s flat-out preposterous. Everyone does something, banishing the very few who get caught for eternity is absurd.

As much as I loved rubbing it in Yulia Efimova‘s face, she took it too far when she started calling out Americans. I mean I think that’s technically treason. No snitching is a law we staunchly abide by here. Lilly, we’re all on the same team. Ever heard of keeping shit in the clubhouse? It’s literally us against the world and we don’t need that kind of holier than thou attitude bopping around the squad. Some people take steroids, others don’t, who’s to say who’s right?

Anyone here ever fucked up before? I know I have. Maybe cheat on a girlfriend or do anything that makes her say it’s over? But you grovel and beg and eventually get her to give you another chance? Well, Lilly King is the friend that comes over for dinner three nights later, eats your food, then goes on and on about how her relationship is so perfect and she’d never do anything like that and would certainly never stand for it. Bitch, SHUT UP! STOP REMINDING HER! Let this shit blow over so I can try and win her back for real? Why the fuck do you have to keep bringing it up? We all screw up sometimes, don’t need you grabbing a mic and telling the world about it for three nights straight right at the start of the Games. God, cut me some slack here. Attack Russians all you want but keep Americans’ names out ya mouth.