How Could "A Gronking To Remember" Get Any Better? Gilbert Gottfried Reading It, Of Course

When this was blogged yesterday I thought the only way it could get better was having Gronk himself do the audiobook, giggling the entire time like someone just farted in class but the teacher is forcing him to keep reading aloud. Gilbert Gottfried isn’t as good as that, but he’s not far off either. Guy with the most ridiculous voice on earth reading perhaps the most ridiculous book on earth? Can’t miss stuff. You haven’t experienced eroticism until you’ve heard it from the lips of the parrot from Aladdin and that’s a fact, jack.

PS – I read a bit of this book yesterday and it’s as incredibly horrible as you’d expect. None of it makes a lick of sense. I’m quite confident the entire thing was scribbled down by a horny toddler.

See? Even in this brief reading you can hear how terrible the metaphors are. “My knees melted like two pads of butter.” “It jettisoned jiggling ribbons of electric jelly through my body.” It’s like these are lines from 40 Year Old Virgin and the person has no idea what sex is like. “Gronk caressed my beautiful bags of sand.”