How About Those Hello Kitty Sons Of Bitches Trying To Tell Us That Hello Kitty Is A Girl And Not A Cat?

(Source) — As she prepares to celebrate her 40th Anniversary, Sanrio’s incredibly popular mascot, Hello Kitty, has made a startling revelation: she is not a cat. Okay, so Hello Kitty – whose real name is Kitty White – didn’t actually say that herself. The information comes from Christine R. Yano, an anthropologist from the University of Hawaii who has studied Hello Kitty as a natural phenomenon for years. Yano is preparing a Hello Kitty exhibit for display at the Japanese American National Museum, and says she was sternly corrected by Sanrio when she referred to Hello Kitty as a cat. “I was corrected — very firmly,” Yano tells the Los Angeles Times. “That’s one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show. Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty.”

If Hello Kitty thinks I’m believing this bullshit then they can go straight to hell. I had about a 30 minute span last night when I got really fired up about this (it was both inexplicable and embarrassing). Such a slap in the face of those Japanese idiots to try and tell me that this fucking things is a little girl. Ever heard the phrase “if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck… then it’s a duck.”? Well if it has whiskers and cat ears and a cat nose and is named Kitty… then it’s a cat. And I love how their excuse is that she acts like a human. Oh yeah? Well Scooby Doo solves fucking mysteries, he’s a dog. Garfield eats more lasagna than any Italian I’ve ever met, he’s a cat. Brian on Family Guy drinks like a Russian poet, he’s a dog. Don’t try and feed me that load of bullshit. But one thing I wondered was that if I was so fired up about it, what’s Japan like? Must be riots and chaos, right? Or do you think they’re turned on by it? Probably the latter and they just developed this whole new fetish of cat girls to start making anime porn about.

PS – Sweet job for Christine R Yano, huh? Can’t wait until someone tells me a blogger isn’t a real job and I can just be like “Oh yeah? At least I’m not an anthropologist who’s studied Hello Kitty for years.”