There were a lot of emasculating moves in childhood. Swirlies (if they even existed? Or were they just an urban legend? I never saw one. Honestly. No, I swear to god. I’M SERIOUS!), wedgies, dead legs, ear flicks, titty twisters… the list may be endless. But a wet willie on live TV while your school president/pastor discusses the new Pope from inside a church may be the worst. Can’t react at all. Just gotta sit there and wear that soggy ear canal like a bitch.
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