Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

SSTb

FloridaPort St. Lucie Police arrested a high school teacher on charges of sexual misconduct with a student Thursday night.

Police spokesman Frank Sabol told CBS12 that Port St. Lucie High School teacher Tiffany Geliga was arrested for inappropriate activities with a 17-year-old male student. …

The 17-year-old told school administrators that he had sexual relations with Geliga on two separate occasions say police.

The pair had sex off campus in Geliga’s car in late April 2017 or early May 2017 say police.

Detectives were able to confirm the sexual encounters by listening in on a phone call between the victim and Geliga. She was promptly arrested.

The investigation kicked off when a mother of another student noticed calls from Geliga say police. The parent went on to check her son’s cellphone and noticed texts between him and Geliga. The son then told school administrators that he believed another student was having a sexual relationship with the teacher.

Police say Geliga is a chemistry teacher.

You know that old trope about the criminal that was so brazen it was like he wanted to get caught. That’s Tiffany Geliga. C’mon, Tiff. You’re not just a Sex Scandal Teacher, you’re a Florida Sex Scandal Teacher. You guys might not have invented it, but your people did finish First Team All American ten years running. Your state seal should be a 35-year-old reverse cowgirling a teenage boy in the back seat of a hybrid crossover. Be better than this. Play like a Champion Today.

Tiffany’s been in the middle of teaching high school long enough to know that 17-year-olds don’t have phone conversations unless they’re forced to. Like mom’s not answering her texts. The car broke down. Or the cops are listening in to get the teacher the teacher the kid is banging to admit to it. What’s that old John Gotti line? “Never speak when you can wink. Never wink when you can nod.” I’ll add, never have sex talk with the teenage student you banged in your car, especially when he’s got you on speaker phone. That’s the Port St. Lucie way.

The Grades:
Looks: Oh man, she looks rough. There’s something to work with here, but hasn’t taken care of it. She’s got a tiny bit of Brigette Moynahan in her, if instead of staying in amazing shape so she’ll look good to your granddad who watches Blue Bloods every week, she chose a life of carbs, flavored vodkas and cigarettes. The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.
Grade: C-

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: This is such a garden-variety SST story. But it’s made special by the whole incriminating phone call, which I think is a first. You can just picture the cops all sitting around, guzzling coffee, ties loosened, jackets off, waiting to trace the call like when they were trying to find out where Gary Sinise had Mel Gibson’s son in Ransom. Or would. If her name and picture didn’t just come up on Caller ID. Anyway, I guess the lure of hearing your students voice describe how hot the sex was is just too much for some teachers.
Grade: B

Intangibles: Chemistry has a couple of different meanings. Tiffany Geliga (nice stripper name) taught them both.
Grade: B

Overall: C.

[Thanks to @Shamrock2232] Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at [email protected]. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.

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