Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
Utah – A Davis High School teacher has been arrested for allegedly having a sexual relationship with one of her students. Brianne Altice, 34, was booked into jail for investigation of two counts of unlawful sexual activity with a minor. A 17-year-old boy reported to investigators he had had sex with Altice at least seven times from January of 2012 to October of 2013… Five of the encounters happened at Altice’s South Weber home, and two others in Kaysville, including at least one time at a park, the report states. The teen contacted police on Monday. He was able to accurately describe the tattoos on Altice’s body as well as the layout of her home, police said. Altice told police she had sex with the boy at least twice, according to the report.
Is this a great time to be in the sports/smut blogging business or what? Just an embarrassment of riches. I mean for most other sites, just winning a championship every 28 months or so would be enough. But my cup just continues to runneth over. I’ve got a Duckboat Parade tomorrow, the first place Patriots playing an arch rival to get ready for, radio and TV shows up the ass… I’ve barely got time to grade some Sex Scandal Teacher. But when the teacher in question is an absolute smokebomb like Brianne Altice, you make time. I love my life.
Looks: Lord save me from these hot, perfectly bred Mormon chicks. Easiest grade I’ll give the rest of 2013. She’s enough to make me revisit my policy against perfect scores, but for now she’ll have to settle for Grade: A
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Brianne had me at “had sex at least seven times.” But when her defense is “That’s a lie. I only inappropriately banged one of my teenage students twice”? Sweet dreams are made of these. Also, extra points for sex in the park. Not like she needs them. Grade: A
Intangibles: The good news is she won’t even have to change her name when she gets into porn because the one she has is already perfect. Move over, Summer Altice. You are now no longer the hottest woman I’ve ever heard of named “Altice.” And that is saying something. Grade: A
Overall: A. A World Series Cup and a new starter on the end of the year SST All Star team. It’s been a hell of a couple of days.
[Thanks to KFC. It’s Barstools helping Barstools. Kind of a Doctors Without Borders thing.]
Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.