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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

Kalee Warnick

Kalee Warnick

Kalee Warnick

New Jersey - An English teacher in Wall, N.J., has been accused of having a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old student. Kalee Warnick, 22, was arrested Tuesday on charges of third-degree aggravated criminal sexual contact and second-degree having a sexual relationship with a minor, according to the Asbury Park Press. The complaint stated that the incident was reported to police on July 14. Warnick, a first-year teacher and 2008 graduate of Wall High School, also worked as a summer home instructor. The boy’s family attorney, James Maggs, told the Associated Press that the teenager has gone through a “horrible ordeal.”

Every once in a while, a rookie comes along that’s so sensational, so ready for the bigs, that they just right in and hit the ground running from Year 1.  Mike Trout.  Yasiel Puig.  Kalee Warnick.  I mean this chick could be rewriting the SST book as we speak.  I love the idea of her being a home instructor.  Like the kids she bones don’t even have to get on a bus.  Or even get out of bed for that matter.  She just brings the vagina right to your door.  Do you have any idea how revolutionary this could be?  It could put the whole notion of going all the way to school to bang your teacher right out of business. She has the chance to be to the Sex Scandal Teacher industry what Amazon was to bookstores.

The Grades:
Looks:
I get some Ellen Page out of Kalee.  And I get a fair amount of Rose Byrne from her.  Mostly though, I get a raging erection from her. Grade: A
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment:
Decidedly, Kaylee’s story is short on details.  I have to think there’s no way a rookie teacher that looks like her doesn’t have yottabytes of nude selfies she sent to the kid that we don’t know about yet.  But with nothing more to go on than the poor lad and his “horrible ordeal,” I have call this one down the middle and give her only a Grade: C
Intangibles:
James Maggs can complain all he wants.  But deep down in places that kid doesn’t talk about at parties, he wants Kaylee in Wall.  He needs Kaylee in Wall.  Grade: A
Overall:
B
[Thanks to @SearsGarnett and james_pollitt?. And even though @shmandz was late to the party, she gets credit because I’m all about empowering women.]

Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.