Former Model Now Teaches Guys How To Fuck Hot Girls

DMAccording to glamour girl turned dating expert Kezia Noble, she can teach any man how to trick a woman into bed. What’s more, she doesn’t see anything unsisterly in sharing her seduction technique. Nor does she feel she’s ‘rinsing’ men by taking £4,000 a week for her ‘wisdom’ (her courses have made her a millionaire). Instead, says Kezia, she is helping women find love and happiness by making hapless men ‘dateable’ and says she can turn any oafish slob into Prince Charming.

KEZIA’S KOMMANDMENTS: FIVE WAYS TO REVOLUTIONISE YOUR LOVE LIFE

Overhaul your look: ‘We look on them as a potential date might, so things like scruffy clothes, and dated hair styles need to be ironed out, and sloppy posture,’ says Kezia.

Cast your net wider: ‘Men who come on my courses they are limited to bars and clubs,’ reveals Kezia. ‘But they can meet potential dates in parks, museums, coffee shops, anywhere where they can engage in conversation’

Ask open questions and be yourself: Kezia explains: ‘It’s about being honest and refreshing and standing out from the other guys who go on about the same dull things.’

Take tips from the bad boys: ‘A bad boy is never too available, or predictable, and will put other people or his work before the girl in the early stages,’ says Kezia. ‘This shows he values himself and his own life and that he has a lot to give.’

Use the ‘upside down triangle’ to see whether she likes you: ‘The gaze should move naturally between each eye and the mouth,’ says Kezia. ‘If the girl looks away or shifts uncomfortably, it’s a no, but if they are relaxed with this or mirror this behaviour, there’s attraction.’

How big of a sucker would you have to be to take this course? You’re basically paying 4 grand a week (I know it says Euros but I’m not a mathematician, you figure it out)  to stare at a hot girl. Just look at her “5 Kommandments.” Don’t dress like a dickhead. Talk to more girls. Ask questions. Be like James Dean. If she looks at you, she likes you. Oh is that all Kezia? What groundbreaking study did you pull this info from? All you need to pick up chicks is
1. Be rich
2. Be more rich
3. Be absolutely insanely rich. Basically wear a sign on your chest that says “Hey girl, I am fucking LOADED.” Maybe make a Dennis Rodman style suit straight out of money. Basically anything that lets girls you won’t be taking them on dates to Olive Garden.
Essentially what you need to do is run some 4 grand a week “pick up class” for a few years then once you have a nice little nest egg start picking up chicks. Hotness doens’t even matter. A homeless hot guy ain’t gonna find a girl, a homeless looking rich guy will. First you get the money, then you get the girls. That simple.
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