Feits Tries To Get A Blowjob From Christy Mack By Impressing Her With Legos

 

 

Everyone has been asking about what happened Saturday night. I’m sorry to report, I decidedly did not get blown. But, in an obvious grasping at straws attempt to save face, I’ve compiled a list of excuses…

 

1. I’m ugly: They say you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig. Well you can give a guy who’s a 6 on his best day some awesome Legos for a Lego Blowjob Competition, but he’s still a 6.

 

2. My cameraman: Christy Mack was actually real cool. If we wanted to hang out there all night, we absolutely could have. However, Sales Guy wanted to get in and out. We were there for like 20 minutes, total. He wasn’t about the running life that night.

 

3. Lowell: It takes a very special person to say, “I’m gonna take this chubby (but getting slimmer!) blogger out back and suck his dick in an alley in Lowell.” Christy Mack is not that person, too classy.

 

4. I honestly didn’t realize it was a real competition: I thought it was kind of a joke. I thought she just tweeted it and I was the only person who was going to build and deliver Legos. That was stupid of me. Never underestimate the dedication of porn fans. This is a legit competition that ends March 1st, so her crowning a winner 3 days in would have just been bad business.

 

5. Price: Legos are expensive as fuck. Even a decently sized piece was over $400 and took 5-10 hours to build. No thanks. I wasn’t going to invest that kind of time or money into childrens toys that I’d lose and step on around my apartment for weeks to come.

 

So there it is. That was my Saturday night. I played with Legos and did not get my dick sucked. What a glamorous life I lead.

 

PS – At the end of the video she says “My mom is going to love it.” Unfortunately I didn’t hear that in real time because the bar was too loud, but having your mom judge your Lego Blowjob competition is just fucking awesome.

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