FAKE NEWS! Patriots Twitter Account Issues Correction About White House Attendance


Objectively speaking is something I don’t do but, objectively speaking that’s a strange tweet from the Patriots twitter account, right? I’m pretty sure Trump kidnapped Belichick and wouldn’t let him out of his pee chamber until the Pats promised to fix it or just had Secret Service grab Stacey James and waterboarded him until he sent this tweet. For a team who notoriously doesn’t give a fuck what people think and doesn’t issue statements for anything non-football related it just seems like a very odd thing to get involved with. Even the wording sounds like Donald Trump/Dwight Schrute. FACTS.



Nonetheless, I think you can understand everyone’s confusion. Exactly half of those went to see Trump at the White House, 34 players. How many stayed home? 34 players.


Screen Shot 2017-04-20 at 7.51.17 AM Screen Shot 2017-04-20 at 7.51.09 AM


The crowd in that 2017 picture looks as though it’s got roughly half the people in it. Sure it’s confirmation bias but when you know half the team is there and a picture looks like it has half the people in it, it’s quite easy to make the connection. But it’s also fun to make the connection and that’s what we do here.


A little tip to all the pretty Trump snowflakes: if you don’t want people on social media making fun of crowd sizes then don’t make it so apparent how much it hurts you. I’m sure you guys all remember how your daddy used to tell you to never show a bully that his words bother you on the playground and he’ll get bored of it, try employing that same tactic here.  If you guys didn’t whine so goddamn much an get so triggered all the time then everyone on Twitter wouldn’t have as much fun with this stuff.


Also shoutout to everyone who tweeted me that I have a liberal bias because I posted the original picture. Uhhhh yeah, I fucking hate Donald Trump. No one here ever pretends to be unbiased. You want fair and balanced reporting? Go read… well, I don’t know what you’re supposed to go read, but it ain’t here.



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