Drunk Chick Gets Arrested For Wandering Onto A Neighbor's Lawn And Having Sex With Lawn Chairs While The Family Watched

Mirror- A drunken woman staggered into a garden and performed a sex act with garden furniture before flashing the bewildered family indoors. As several members of the household looked on in horror, the 33-year-old woman hiked up her dress and “engaged in an intimate act with several lawn chairs”, Komo News reports . According to police in Seattle, Washington state, she then carried out the act on the lawn before “quite purposefully exposing her genitalia, and then posterior, to the family inside the home”. The family called the police and the woman was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure in Beacon Hill on August 4. Public nudity itself is not a crime in the city, but it becomes an offence if it causes a person to reasonably experience fear, alarm or concern.

Let that freak flag fly!  Talk about the worst timing ever for that weird fetish you’ve been burying deep inside of you to rear it’s ugly head and make you start fucking lawn chairs while a family looks on.  As a sober person you can probably repress those weird things you didn’t know you liked until you were scrolling down a porn page and it hit you like a ton of bricks.  Like, “Holy shit, I’m into that?  Chicks fucking each other with rusty screwdrivers while blind folded and watching Rugrats on mute?  Well I’m just gonna repress those feelings for now and hope they never ever surface.”  But when you’re drunk, all bets are off.  Your guard is down and shit has the chance to get weird.  Case in point this chick who got drunk and all of the sudden her lawn chair fetish rushed to the surface and boom she’s banging chair in the front lawn of her neighbor.  Seen it a million times.  It was the perfect storm.  Booze, timing and accessible lawn chairs.  Culminating into one big moment of clarity that she, in fact, likes to have sex with lawn chairs.  It happens.  The family watching was just a bonus.  But hey, no judgment here.  We all have those demons.

PS- Did we all just find out together that we’re into girls fucking lawn chairs?  I think we did.