Does This Look Like The Face Of A 28 Year Old Man Arrested For Choking His 92 Year Old Girlfriend?

MEMPHIS, Tenn. (FOX13) – – A 28-year old man is behind bars after police say he choked a 92-year old woman Tuesday night. Memphis Police arrested Thomas Standley and charged him with Domestic Assault Causing Bodily Harm and Assault.

Here’s my burning question: what the hell could a 92 year old girlfriend do to get you so mad that you choke her? As far as I’m concerned fights start over two things: 1. fears of infidelity and 2. she wants you to do shit that you don’t want to do. Be it hanging out with her friends, going to dinner with her parents, going to a shitty movie, really anything that entails getting off the couch. Well both of those problems don’t exist when you’re banging a 92 year old. You’re not concerned about her banging some other dude because you’re literally the only person on the planet who has both the desire and physical ability to fuck her. You don’t have to do anything because she’s 92 and physically can’t. Her whole family is dead, her friends are dead, she can’t actually see a movie screen… she’s pretty much as couch ridden as you. Tbh kind of sounds like the perfect relationship if her vagina wasn’t indistinguishable to Ty Cobb’s mitt in both look and feel. I guess maybe they fought about the lack of sex but that’s kind of like when your girlfriend says she’s not in the mood when you know she hasn’t shaved and has been eating Mexican all night, it’s more of a blessing than a curse.