College Pizza Is Under Investigation For Having Sex Toys, Drugs and And A Pantsless Chef
Mass Live - Health director Julie Federman said she was reluctant to provide the sordid details to the Board of Health about College Pizza worker Mishu Fam but she wanted members to understand the seriousness of the issues. The board Tuesday revoked the restaurant’s license for one year retroactive to Jan. 28 when it was initially revoked. The owner Basem Fam said he will try to sell the eatery. Federman said police notified her in March about an investigation they were undertaking at the restaurant. While there, they had found a small room off the back of the restaurant that had a cot, marijuana and some sex toys. They also had videotapes from the restaurant’s cameras, which they viewed and told her what was on them. She viewed them as well so she could save police from having to attend the public hearing. She said police never issued any charges. In the tape, she saw Mishu Fam, the owner’s brother, wearing only a t-shirt, strolling out from the back room to the restaurant to make a sandwich and didn’t wash his hands after touching his genitals.
So, first and foremost this is disgusting obviously. Whatever they found in the back of this pizza shop sounds like the makings of a creepy pizza porno or a crime scene or both. But I really can’t say I’m surprised, College Pizza looks so creepy and disgusting from the outside. It literally looks like you would find all those things in the back. What I was more concerned about was if I’ve ever eaten College Pizza. And I thought about it, I thought about it a lot actually. I still have no idea. I can’t say I have and I can’t say I haven’t. I mean I’m still alive and I don’t think you can get an STD from eating pizza? So, I’m not too concerned. I’ve probably eaten worse things in my 22 years on this Earth than some dick pizza (cue the jokes about things I’ve ingested in frat house basements).
For those of you who have never been to UMass or aren’t familiar with the campus College Pizza is right by Southwest (the residential area that all the normal people live in their freshman/sophomore years). It is conveniently on the way to what the underclassmen call home from some frats and my personal favorite club hockey. Well, what used to be club hockey I’m pretty sure they got kicked out of that house after the Blarney incident. The point of this is every time I and everyone else at UMass been in College Pizza they’ve been too drunk to remember anything about it. So maybe I ate dick pizza maybe I didn’t. I really don’t remember.
Also, thought I would add this in here while were on the subject of pizza. Ahop (Amherst house of pizza) is better than Antonio’s. Ill stand by that forever. Antonio’s is still really great pizza of course. But, its overrated and the lines are always so long especially at the end of the night when the bars close. Ahop, Antionio’s, Bruno’s, Subs&Pizza, then all the other random ratchet pizza shops like College Pizza. In that order.