Australian Bro Gets Sentenced To 2 Year Alcohol Ban After An Assault, Decided To Go To Jail Instead

(NtNews) — Milo Manu Felix Wild, 22, asked to be sent to jail because he was depressed that he had to stay at home rather than socialising with friends in pubs and clubs. Magistrate John O’Neill said it was “extraordinary” that Wild thought his life “was not worth living without alcohol.” Wild had been banned from drinking alcohol for assault and behaving in an indecent manner on Anzac Day last year when he pushed over four port-a-loos, exposed himself and threw his own urine at rangers at Litchfield National Park. He was sentenced on November 23 to three months’ jail to be suspended for two years during which time he had to be of good behaviour and not drink alcohol.

This sounds like an outrageous move from Milo Manu Felix Wild, which is a name you wouldn’t expect outrageous moves from. But when you think about it? Kinda makes sense.

What do you have to look forward to every week? The weekend. Why do you look forward to it? To get drunk. If you have no hope of that then every day is the same. Every single moment for two years it’s just darkness at the end of the tunnel. People who say “I can have fun without alcohol” are dicks. They don’t get guys like me and Milo Manu. Guys who leave the office on Friday like a kid running down the stairs to see his Christmas presents, guys who think that Bloody Mary’s are the cure the American Cancer Society have been looking for. We live in a world that, without alcohol, is filled with boring friends and crippling depression. And we won’t accept that. Might as well go lift weights in prison so when we hit the bar on our release date we’re looking good for the ladies. I get it.