And the Pussification of America Continues: Canadian Youth Soccer League Removes Soccer Balls So Nobody Gets Their Feelings Hurt…Wait What?

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 (How stupid are you to play defense with no ball?)

CBC – With the growing concern over the effects of competition in youth sports programs this summer, many Canadian soccer associations eliminated the concept of keeping score. The Soccer Association of Midlake, Ontario, however, has taken this idea one step further, and have completely removed the ball from all youth soccer games and practices. According to Association spokesperson, Helen Dabney-Coyle, “By removing the ball, it’s absolutely impossible to say ‘this team won’ and ‘this team lost’ or ‘this child is better at soccer than that child.'””We want our children to grow up learning that sport is not about competition, rather it’s about using your imagination. If you imagine you’re good at soccer, then, you are.”

This can’t be real right? Like this has to be an Onion type article. But I spend a good 15 mintues on this website and unless this is the only fake story they got I think this is legit? But how? How do you play soccer using your imagination? Everybody is just running every which way scoring goals in their brains? Do I even have to go into how ludicrous this is? Do I have to give my entire rant about the pussification of America again? How you can’t just close your eyes and imagine your successful in life. How there are winners and losers and the sooner kids realize this the better? Just when I think we can’t sink any lower we do.

PS – Real soccer ball or no soccer ball it wouldn’t have stopped me from dominating this game.  Making kids cry left and right.  I was the best 10 and under soccer player that ever lived. Like 40 goals a game. I was an absolute freak. A combo of Pele, Usain Bolt and the Undertaker.   Kids would have known they got dominated.  Oh they would have known.

 

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