This Hot Girl Getting Back On Tinder Has An App Store-Sounding Bio That's Pretty Great
Maybe it’s just me but something about her writing about herself like an updated app in the iTunes store cracked me up, the “improvements” area in particular since it so perfectly cut to the point of what most of us guys should be looking for on Tinder. Just be a little less shitty than you were for the last dude you dated off the app, learn a little better about choosing the next dude in the process, throw in some bikini pics preferably showing off a tan (tan lines are a bonus), and yeah you’re ready to go. Sure there might be some new unfound bugs in this version that can lead to problems and some apps get used for a week then never touched again and eventually a user will likely find a different app that does the same thing but better…that’s life being in the App Store. All very poignant metaphors courtesy of a half-naked 18-year-old. (via MH)
But hey no bug fixes needed for the latest edition of the Tinder blog. A lot of great submissions this week so thanks to folks who sent things in, send me yours by following me on Twitter and DMing them in, and let’s get to it:
Hockey fandom can be confusing for a blossoming young woman (via EL)
Uhh hey JJ maybe you should spend less time on dating apps indirectly and more time healing so you can play Week 1 (via JW)
Mysterious profile but the lure of neverending tacos and a spoiled girl is too much to resist IMO (via SD)
Tinkerbell would literally die like Mr Hands if she had sex with a normal sized man so I’m not sure what this analogy means (via LB)
A Hooters girl outfit is an instant 10 out of 10 for me almost without exception (via SR)
You’re a weird chick Nips but I like what you’re putting out there (via Mugatu)
If this is your kid I can’t imagine more of a situation where you hope Hillary wins and legalizes 48th trimester abortions (via M)
Go work for Libstool with that liberal attitude, you libtard (via RY)
Second time’s the charm? (via SM)
2016 will be remembered as the Year of the Choker (via NR)
I really hope this is an original bio because it’s the funniest thing ever (via GM)
I appreciate her acknowledging the boobs because this photo exists entirely to promote them (via K)
Busty flight attendants on Happn would be a great corner for them to takeover in the dating app world (via P)
This is a profile where I fully believe every single thing she claims based on her pic (via JG)
I’ll take Ways to Make Garfield Happier on Mondays for $500, Alez (via JOBE)
I know that photo from somewhere but the bio is still amusing (via F)
Tinder social #squadgoals (via BC)
This week’s reminder that pretty trans girls may be inclined to be the Bernie or Bust type (via Breezus)
This sounds like the premise of some weird early 90s thriller starring Alicia Silverstone (via M)
I have zero idea what to expect if you hung out with this person for real (via DB)
I think I had Jenna from The Challenge in the blog like six months again and it seems she’s still grinding. Personally I’m surprised a reality star might have a less than stable love life (via B)
That dog would need to have a REAL charming personality (via JI)
What do you think your competition for the week’s commenter handle is? (via RG)
Something you just don’t joke about, Samantha (via AC)
(via Z)
For what logical reason did this photo ever occur? And if it’s art, fuck you that’s not real art (via DB)
(via WS)
And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…
I’m into all the chill vibes and the far away butt shot equally (via K)
Closer than usual butt shots are also welcomed here (via M)
The reverse far away butt shot still showcasing a quality booty, great natural ability from this girl to be able to nail such a complicated maneuver (via COR)
Nothing says Arkansas like living room selfies in an AGGRESSIVE bikini (via BC)
Arizona girls lack the class of USC girls but they have their merits (via RY)
(via JH)
The underboob alone is making that Jim Harbaugh “Who’s Got It Better Than Us?” video look even dumber than it already did (via BS)
Hell of a way to appeal to the Kentucky male demo (via MS)
That’s the kind of scrappy attitude I want from my community college girls (via JK)
Side boob, nips, and choker combo is not for the faint of heart so you have to applaud this girl’s great effort (via BP)
Rarely do I wish I had enough life issues to require a social worker (via KR)
Given that she’s a biker bar waitress, she’s probably not joking around (via CA)
This was an extremely worthwhile Insta follow I have to say (via JS)
A good rule of thumb is always buy the girl in a tank top and panties a drink if she asks (via D)
And there we have it, another week in the books. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and send me your screenshots, thanks again to those who sent things in, and happy swiping!