Daily Mail - A superhero impersonator died after wrapping himself in three rolls of cling film and a red nylon sheet in a bizarre solo sex game which went wrong, an inquest heard. James Lockless, 50, was discovered dead in his flat when police officers broke the door down after his friends and neighbours realised he was missing. The officers found him dead in a dark room near three rolls of cling film and a weight-lifting bench in the property in Carshalton, Surrey.
Hey Wolverine you ain’t so bad! You ain’t so tough anymore are you big guy! Animal-keen senses. Enhanced physical capabilities. Three retracting bone claws on each hand. Healing factor that allows him to recover from virtually any wound, disease or toxin at an accelerated rate. Just don’t let him near the Saran wrap! Typical mutant idiot. Think you’re so hard walking around like your shit don’t stink. Shooting spikes out of your knuckles like you run the joint. Grabbing everybody’s wife and girlfriend and kinky-sexing em right in their grill piece just because you can. Guess who’s not so tough anymore? Don’t care how big and bad and bizarro your sex game is. Big ass Wolverine dick pumped full of Adamantium ain’t clearing those windpipes under 80 pounds of cling wrap brotha.
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