Daily Beast – It’s that time of year again. The fat (and thin) envelopes have begun to land, as high-school seniors’ fates take shape. So just how insanely competitive were this year’s college admissions? According to many colleges’ self-reported statistics for the class of 2016: the results aren’t encouraging for most ambitious seniors, and they’re especially dismal for “unhooked white girls.” That’s the euphemism for smart girls with really good grades and solid SAT scores, but who lack some special “hook” or positioning—for example, being a star athlete, concert pianist or first generation to go to college. They experienced a particularly tough time getting into most of the nation’s most competitive colleges. But they may enjoy a bit of peace of mind knowing everyone else did as well.
Wah wah unhooked white girls can’t just coast along on their whiteness anymore and get into whatever college their daddy wants them too boo hoo boo hoo. Of course they can’t. Why the fuck would you be allowed into college without a hook? If you don’t have a hook you’re worthless. You provide nothing. You don’t fit a multi-cultural criteria. You can’t dunk a basketball. You don’t know a G chord from your G spot. What do you provide to the community? Just another white bitch in sweatpants drinking soy lattes in the library gossiping about Juicy Campus or whatever kids do on the internet these days. Saying you don’t have a hook is a terrible excuse. Like fat people with “big bones” and “thyroid conditions.” Wake up and do something about it. Join a club. Play a sport. Pick up an instrument. And if you can’t get into college who gives a fuck. You’re white. Go marry a rich guy and be a dumb fuck doll like every other white girl.
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