Barstool Sports

Toronto Sun- An astounding link on the Toronto District School Board website which entices children to experiment sexually with vegetables has a Christian group calling for a criminal investigation.In the interest of protecting children, an outraged Dr. Charles McVety, president of Canada Christian College, has written Attorney General John Gerretsen and does not hold back on his animus and disgust.The TDSB — through its website — is corrupting Ontario’s children with extraordinary explicit instruction,” wrote McVety in a letter sent Wednesday. On the TDSB site, you will find — a link called “Just Say Yes, pro sex” which champions encounters with vegetables and other experimental options. It says: “There are lots of safe and fun ways to get off, which you probably won’t learn in school … don’t feel like you have to do everything on this page, but don’t feel like anything is automatically off limits either.”“Play with your own or someone else’s a– or vagina, put your fingers, dildoes, vegetables, or butt plugs into them,” is what it states.

Someone needs to let Canada know that even though they still use dogsleds as their primary form of transportation, it doesn’t mean it’s still the 20th century. We’re in the new millennium now, bitches. You can’t just teach kids how to put their penis in a vagina and call it a day. Sexuality has evolved, and sexual education has to evolve with it. I’m not saying we have to teach kids the finer points of bondage or give them an instruction manual on building a fully functioning tentacle monster to fulfill their  real life hentai fantasies, but “missionary with your eyes closed” can’t be the only thing on the lesson plan anymore. We’re already teaching students how to put on a condom and the finer points of oral sex; you can’t tell me that providing a little bit of guidance on picking out the ideal zucchini at the grocery store or handing out a step by step guide for hollowing out the center of a cantaloupe and throwing it in the microwave for just the right amount of time is really going to corrupt them anymore than those?

PS- I’m not sure exactly who the Toronto school board was marketing this to, but as a college student I took a look at the full list of tips and actually learned way more than I’m comfortable admitting