The morning you watch Judge Judy and Price is Right re-runs for 4 hours instead of even considering flipping to ESPN.
5) Lebron James
What the fuck ever. I’m so over hating Lebron or caring about him at all. Best player on the planet, good for him. This ring just especially sucks because his stats vs. Jordan are now:
LeBron James at 28: 4 MVPs, 2 NBA titles, 2 NBA Finals MVPs, 9 All-Star selections
Michael Jordan at 29: 3 MVPs, 2 NBA titles, 2 NBA Finals MVPs, 8 All-Star selections
Just more fuel to the fire of is Lebron better than MJ which is patently false. Maybe when it’s all said and done he’ll be #2 all time. But MJ is the GOAT.
4) Shane Battier
If you appreciate rock hard defense and the prototypical role player then Battier is probably your favorite player in NBA history. If you hate floppy Duke pussies who sign on to teams at the end of their career just to win a ring then you’re like most people and want the next charge Battier takes to knock his nutsack off his body.
3) Mike Miller
Makes trailer trash look like A-list celebrities on their way to a black tie wedding. No clue why I even hate Mike Miller. Why does anyone hate Mike Miller? Because make no mistake about it EVERYONE hates Mike Miller. Can’t think of a reason other than how disgusting he is to look at? Which reminds me,
2) Birdman Andersen
No explanation needed other than I literally puke when I look at you.
PS – Has it ever been more 100% assumed that a guy was involved in a kiddie porn case when in fact he was never even charged with anything? I don’t think anyone has even bothered disputing it or standing up for him.
1) Chris Bosh
Probably the only person I’m legitimately upset about winning another championship ring. Like I tried to stay pretty indifferent throughout the Finals and just quietly pull for the Spurs and enjoy some great games. But every time I saw Bosh miss a layup, take a horrible 3, get blocked and fall down, get dominated by Duncan, or FLOP I just wanted to punch my TV screen. Game 7 of the NBA Finals, biggest game of his life, and he drops a 28 minute – 0 points – 5 fouls performance. The $17.5 million dollar man was one notch below a role player. Tim Duncan’s punching bag. And in the end just riding on Lebron and D Wade’s coat tails to another champagne shower.