AnnArbor.com- U-M’s School of Public health is hosting a zombie invasion Tuesday as a preparedness exercise for a real public health emergency or disaster. The invasion will include students dressed as zombies, and apparently quite a few folks were dying to participate. “We have been overrun by zombies. We had to close the registration,” the School of Public Health said on its website. The exercise is modeled after a curriculum designed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. On its website, the CDC notes, “If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack.” Though zombies are invited to wear makeup and engage in some ordinary zombie behavior, the School of Public Health has listed a few rules on its website to keep them from running amok. Among them: Makeup may not drip or flake off or create any residue or mess within the school. Zombies may not bring weapons or simulated weapons. Zombies may NOT menace, threaten or make person-to-person contact with individual participants, observers or visitors (a little slow motion chasing is fine. But please do not induce screaming among the chase-ees). Zombie noises are acceptable, within a reasonable volume.
I’ve said it before, but how fucking hard is it to put a bullet in the metaphorical brain of the zombie obsession? As far as crazes goes, schools running zombie drills is the equivalent of when your aunt opens up a Facebook and types “HOW ARE YOU/” as a comment every time a relative posts something new. There is no more obvious sign saying that it’s time to move onto something else. I might even understand running a drill like this if it actually prepared you for something, but I’m having a hard time figuring out how preparing for a hoard of murderous undead roaming the streets is going to get you ready for a hurricane. Natural disasters aren’t trying to actively kill you and terrorists have more at that their disposal than walking slowly and biting people. If you want to prepare college students for an emergency, run a “Mentally Unhinged Male in His Early 20s With a Weapon” drill instead. Kind of a downer when compared to a zombie drill, but at least it has a chance of actually happening.