All of these “Best Party Schools in the Country” lists are the same. You don’t need a bunch of surveys and statistics to realize that state schools in the South with tens of thousands of people are the best place to get blackout drunk and have sex that you’ll regret when if you decide to sober up. So as much respect as Barstool has for the Arizona States and West Virginias of the world, they’ve got a big dick and they and everyone else knows it. It’s time we give some credit to the under appreciated and flat out disrespected: The most underrated party schools in the country.
The selection process for the list came down to a few factors. For a school to qualify, it means we either thought that other “Best Party School” lists (Princeton Review, Playboy) didn’t give them enough credit in the first place or (in most cases) they aren’t even on the map. In selecting and ranking the schools, we look at a bunch of different factors:
- Availability of mind-altering substances
- Off campus life
- Student reviews of of the social scene
- The personal experiences of the people in charge of ranking them.
(AP #1 Barstool U Smokesmash Girl of all time, Claire from Tulane)
Like a lot of the other school on this list Tulane suffers from living in the shadow of schools in their vicinity that already have a reputation, but why should Tulane suffer just because LSU has twice as many people and good football team? When Baton Rogue is a 15 minute cab ride to Bourbon Street and has frats getting busted for having every drug ever maybe we’ll reconsider. NOLA is NOLA, and the kids at Tulane know how to take advantage of it.
9. Georgia Southern
UGA gets all the hype in Georgia. Nobody talks about its smaller, even more debaucherous cousin, Southern. Located in the middle of Bumblefuck-nowhere, GA (AKA Statesboro). Southern’s the place to be if you’re serious about your stereotypical, get so drunk you piss your pants, college experience. Can’t forget to mention that it’s jam packed with over 10,000 daisy duke wearing Georgia girls. And all the bars are literally across the street from the classes. Which makes pregaming pretty simple after the last course of the day. But your typical Southern student usually hits up the bar pre-class anyway. You’d be hard pressed to find any day of the week that Southern isn’t throwing down hard.
8. Miami University
Miami made an appearance at number 8 on our Top Spring Weekends list too, and despite the fact that they’ve been steadily building a reputation in the past few years, it’s tough getting the recognition you deserve when you’re constantly being measured against OSU and the other Miami. The RedHawks also have to put up with the fact that people who still think think “good school” and “party school” go as well together as an interracial couple in the 1950s, but for every overachiever who considers opening a can of soda in the library on a Friday night a crazy weekend there’s a sorority girl pissing in the sink or shitting or a kid pissing in an alley on High Street threatening to slap a cop with his dick. Party on, Miami.
Quinnipiac almost never comes up in the party school conversation , but at the risk of pissing off the herbs on campus who don’t want their school’s academic reputation to become even more average by being associated with drugs and alcohol, it might be the hardiest partying school in New England whose debauchery isn’t subsidized by taxpayer money. The on campus scene might leave a little bit to be desired, but having one of the highest concentrations of hard liquor in the country and basically nothing else to do but drink it results in a surprisingly enjoyable party scene with people either trying to piss off the white people in Hamden or (if they’re feeling adventurous) going into the city and play a game of New Haven Roulette. The fact that the girls of QU are also some of the most underrated in the country is just an added bonus. Go Slobcats.
Marquette suffers the misfortune as being in the same state as that other school from Wisconsin (Wisconsin), but even though the kids in Milwaukee might not be able to measure up to the ones over in Madison, they’re still probably the least socially inept Catholic school in the nation (which is the party school equivalent of being the smartest kid on the short bus, but still, credit where credit is due). In the past couple years people have started to complain about the administration and campus police trying to crack down on the party scene, but when half of the student body lives off campus there’s only so much they can do. A reaction like that means that the kids at Marquette are doing something right.
You study in your library. They rave in theirs.
5. Colorado State
Colorado Boulder has always been the successful older sibling who gets all the attention, with CSU being the the younger sister who tries to validate her existence by stealing their parent’s vodka and bringing it to parties where she’s the star of an amateur glory hole under the kitchen table. And who doesn’t love that girl? CU had a good run, but it’s basically 4/20 everyday in Colorado now, and a 4,000 person pool party sounds like a lot more fun than a bunch of stoned bros playing hacky sack. They’re not the hardest partying school in the country, but their frat life, off campus parties and Old Town deserve more recognition than the none they’re getting now.
A buddy once told me, “Rollins is a great party school… if you like blow.” After some hard hitting, investigative journalism, BarstoolU can confirm that Rollins is a great party school. And they don’t call it Winter Park for nothing. Basically just a country club next to a lake with smokes hanging out at the pool all the time. Got cash? Want to spend 4 years partying your ass off with some of the hottest, richest girls in the country? Go hang at Rollins.
3. East Carolina
There’s an old motto at ECU that says “You can’t spell parties without Pirates.” We never said it was a good motto, but it doesn’t mean they don’t have a point.
2. SUNY Oswego
SUNY is as SUNY does, and even though Albany gets a lot of recognition for being the #1 place for New York students to settle, Oswego has a couple of things going for it- mainly cold hard facts and not being in Albany. For starters, Oswego is basically a Mecca for alcoholics with the city holding the Guinness World Record for most bars per square mile out of any city in the United States. If drugs are more you’re thing that’s cool too, because there’s apparently drug dealers at every frat too. SUNY Oswego deserves more recognition, and even though they’re doing fine as it is if they want to get taken seriously the students need to go a little bit harder. All you need is a riot and 1,000 arrests at the next Bridge Street Run and BOOM, just like that you’re on the map.
1. East Stroudsburg University
Small school, big thirst. If the beach in that shitty Leonardo DiCaprio movie was a college, it would be ESU. What sets the Warriors apart is that unlike most of the party school powerhouses, they’re a pretty small university located in the middle of nowhere that who somehow still hold their own against the big boys when it comes to girls (who make up 56% of the student body), booze and basically every substance known to man. There’s no shortage of cities across the country that cater to the schools that call them home, but you’d be hard pressed to find a place where student run the town like the kids at ESU. Most people probably don’t even know it exists, and that makes it even more magical. The only reservation that we had putting them at number one was the risk that shoobies from around the world would start flocking to the undisputed hidden gem of the American education system. But that’s a risk we’re willing to take.
Think your school parties harder than all 10 of these combined but nobody knows about it? Let us know in the comments…