EDMONTON – Retailers say the NHL lockout has led to a boost in sales of sex toys and lingerie among couples. “We’d be gearing up for (NHL hockey) now but there’s nothing so I guess we need to find some better ways to spend our time” said Vinay Morker, owner of the Hush Lingerie and More boutique, while at Edmonton’s Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show Saturday. Morker said his south Edmonton location saw a 15% jump in sales in October, and although the absence of Oilers action has been killing the longtime fan, it could also be the reason more couples have been browsing his wares at the show. “When Oilers fans, mostly guys, have to break their routine of seeing every game, they have more time,” Morker said. “And there’s nothing better than spending it with your spouse or girlfriend.”
A lot of people have been whining about the NHL lockout. Saying how much it sucks and how they’re forced to watch basketball now and shit. Umm ever think about fucking Canada? Seriously what the fuck is there to do in Canada without hockey? I guess we found the answer. Pummel your girlfriend with a 10 Function Silicone Love Rider. I mean this is the state of affairs in Canada. Can’t even exist without hockey. Got dudes using Fleshlights and chicks sitting on Sybians in their apartments just staring at a black TV screen hoping and praying it will magicially turn on to the 2nd period of an Oilers game.
Got to at least tip your cap for the Canadians here though. A lot of people when their sport or show is cancelled they’ll use the time to catch up on some work or chores they missed. Do some stuff around the house. Maybe read that book they’ve been meaning to read or fix that creaky doorknob. Nope not in Edmonton where they jump straight to the 50 Shades Of Grey freak sex. Respect.