Seattle – A man suspected of robbing a Seattle bank was caught masturbating on a sidewalk, Seattle police report. In what police describe as a “stroke of luck,” the suspect in a New Year’s Eve robbery of a Capitol Hill bank was arrested after a passerby spotted him “having a good time with himself” in a doorway on New Year’s Day, a Seattle Police spokesman said in a statement. The man is suspected of robbing a U.S. Bank near the intersection of Broadway and East John Street. According to police, the robber claimed to have a bomb and fled with an unspecified amount of cash. Officers found the man sitting in the doorway, and realized he looked a lot like the guy from the bank robbery, a police spokesman said in a statement. Confronted with the allegations, the man said he was only trying to hide money in his pants.
Ah man you just hate reading about something like this. Guy puts in the time and effort to plan the perfect robbery, executes it flawlessly, kills the cameras, wears the best disguise ever, disables the security guards, avoids the silent alarm, keeps the crowd under control, grabs the bags of cash, sheds the dye packs, and splits before the distress call goes out. Almost home free when he makes the classic mistake of stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to beat his dick off. Seen it happen a million times. Just so frustrating that something so normal and unavoidable can bring down your entire scheme but such is life. Danny Ocean wasn’t perfect his first heist either.
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