Barstool Sports

MOSCOW (Reuters) – Seventy members of an Islamist sect who have been living in an underground bunker without heat or sunlight for nearly a decade have been discovered living on the outskirts of the city of Kazan in Russia, local media reported. The sect members included 20 children, the youngest of whom had just turned 18 months. Many of them were born underground and had never seen daylight until the prosecutors discovered their dwelling on August 1 and sent them for health checks. A 17-year-old girl turned out to be pregnant. Religion was suppressed in the Soviet Union, prompting various cults and sects to flourish in the vacuum that opened up. The group – known as the “Fayzarahmanist” sect – was named after its 83-year-old organiser Fayzrahman Satarov, who declared himself a prophet and his house an independent Islamic state, according to a report by state TV channel Vesti.

How pissed do  you think these dudes were when they crawled out of their bunker hole and found out the Soviet Union collapsed like 21 years ago?   Seriously nobody wanted to pop up and check a newspaper or something?  Like you’re allowed to be a Muslim up here bro.  Islam is cool.  Go ahead and do whatever.   We’ll even build you a mosque and shit.  No need to live in a cave without heat or sunlight and not allowing anyone to come up to see a doctor or anything.  The Commies are gone, time to chill the fuck out a little bit and live it up in the fresh air.