Barstool Sports

MTV – R. Kelly has revealed that the catalyst behind his divorce from wife and former back up dancer Andrea Kelly was Ryan Gosling. But after too many fights to count — including one in which Mrs. Kelly chucked her $50,000 wedding ring into a pond in the couple’s backyard — Kelly had an epiphany after watching the 2004 Gosling weeper “The Notebook.” The cheesetastic adaptation of the Nicholas Sparks novel about a young 1940′s couple who fall madly in love, only to be torn apart by her disapproving parents. Despite her engagement to another man, their true love prevails and, well, we don’t wan to spoil it, but let’s say tears will be shed. Just ask Kelly, who writes that the story of true love waiting got him so emotional that, “as the film credits started to roll, I couldn’t move. I burst into tears. People walking past me patted me on the back, trying to console me. ‘The Notebook’ was beautiful, and I was crying because its hero and heroine had died together. But I was also crying because I remembered a Valentine’s Day — when a helicopter dropped a rainfall of roses — that had come and gone … My marriage had died. And there was nothing I could do to bring it back.”

I’m with Kelly big time on this.  Fuck the Notebook.  Fuck rom coms and the idiot chicks who treat them like the Bible.  I mean yeah they’re great films but you know how much harder the Notebook and all those bullshit movies have made life for the average Joe?  The guy who wakes up every morning and goes to work then wants to come home and kick back and chill with his wife or girlfriend?  Grab some beer or wine and cuddle up on the couch and watch the tube then have a little missionary sex later?  Nope not good enough.  Should be waking up at the crack of dawn to cook breakfast and serve it in bed amidst a scattering of rose petals and a soft mist of lavender while violins and harps play in the background.  Should be building fuckin houses and shit while developing the perfect 10 face and body like Gosling.    Just impossible fake life shit you can’t live up to but your girl thinks you can because it was scripted in Hollywood.   Such bullshit.    So I totally get where R is coming from here.  If I had to list the major reasons for divorce in this country The Notebook would be #2 right behind peeing on little girls and getting hit with child pornography charges.