Delco – A REAL PAL WILL GIVE you a dollar when you’re in need, but a PayPal will give you $92 quadrillion. Delaware County resident Chris Reynolds received just such a shocking delivery from PayPal on Friday, when he opened his monthly statement from the online money-transfer company via email and saw that his ending balance was $92,233,720,368,547,800.
“I’m just feeling like a million bucks,” Reynolds told the Daily News yesterday. “At first I thought that I owed quadrillions. It was quite a big surprise.” Reynolds, 56, of Media, said he’s been a PayPal customer for about 10 years and uses it to buy and sell items on eBay, including vintage car parts. He said he usually spends no more than $100 a month using PayPal.
After absorbing the initial shock, Reynolds logged on to PayPal’s site and saw that his balance was listed there as zero.
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it 10 thousand times. There is no dumber rule on the American lawbooks than the fact it’s a crime to spend money you get by mistake. Like these people who take cash out of an ATM that says they have a shitload of balance, who get massive checks from the bank, who check their PayPal and have 92,233,720,368,547,800 dollars in there. You multi-million and billion dollar banks and corporations can’t keep track of your dough? That’s on you. Don’t get my heart racing and get me thinking about a mansion on a beach with a jetskis and 200 foot yacht out front and mamacitas in bikinis feeding me grapes and pina coladas then ripping it all away from me. Is nobody held accountable anymore? It’s simple. You don’t want to lose 92 quadrillion dollars? Don’t send 92 quadrillion dollars to somebody. Fuck PayPal, I’m team Venmo 1000%.
PS – “I’m a very responsible guy,” he said. “I would pay the national debt down first. Then I would buy the Phillies, if I could get a great price.” Nobody has ever deserved $92 quadrillion bucks less, ever. Sweet goals bro.