Barstool Sports

PACIFICA, Calif. — Three people were arrested Monday after they stole an 82-foot yacht, stocked it with pizza and beer, and then ran the vessel aground on a Northern California beach, authorities said.  Authorities took two men and a woman off the boat hours after the “Darlin” got stuck in shallow water at Pacifica State Beach, the San Mateo County Sheriff’s Office said.  Pacifica police arrested Leslie Gardner, 63, Dario Mira, 54, and Lisa Modawell, 56, on suspicion of grand theft and conspiracy. They were being held in the San Mateo County Jail.  The strange tale began early Monday when beachgoers phoned police to report the sailboat in trouble.  The luxury yacht was trapped on a sandbar in shallow water at low tide and unable to get back out to sea. A few wetsuit-clad surfers had paddled out in the frigid water near the grounded vessel as its hull was battered by 4- to 5-foot waves.

This is how you get old.  You don’t sit around and wait to die.  You don’t retire and sit on your porch and watch the grass grow.  You don’t travel around visiting your loser grandkids cleaning poop out of their diapers and shit.   You keep living life to the fucking fullest.  You go out and cause a ruckus every chance you get.  You see an 82 foot yacht?  Load it up with pizza and beer and take it for a spin.  Run it aground and dip.  Who gives a fuck?   You’re old.  You stopped caring a longgg time ago.   This 63 year old bitch gets it.  Grab some of your younger friends, tell em how it’s all downhill from there, and cause a little bit of trouble.  That’s how you do your 60s.  Go full racist and stop giving a SHIT.