Barstool Sports

Sherdog – On Dec. 3, “Ultimate Fighter” Season 9 competitor Ray Elbe endured an injury most males wouldn’t wish upon their worst enemy.  While having sexual intercourse with his girlfriend, the fighter with the moniker “Magical” suffered a penile fracture. According to Elbe, it was just as traumatic as it sounds.  “I ended up fracturing my penis bone … I tore the urinary tract, tore some membrane — as it happened you can imagine the shock and the horror that was going on,” Elbe said in a video posted to his website on Sunday. “I jumped up from the intimate moment, blood shooting out of my groin. I immediately tried to run to the shower, felt myself losing consciousness, tried to walk back to the bed at which point I collapsed, knocking myself out. I gave myself 10 stitches and fractured a couple teeth.”  Eventually, Elbe would seek treatment at a hospital in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, where he stayed until Dec. 8.  “I pretty much was on display the entire time I was in the hospital,” he said.  “Obviously it’s just been a really, really, really difficult injury to rehab from,” he said.

What’s the worst thing that can happen to you?  Is it getting knocked the fuck out in the Octagon in front of millions of people with blood pouring out of your cauliflower ears and get brain damage or end up crippled for the rest of your life?  That’s probably what this ultimate fighter bro thought every day when he woke up in the morning.  Nope turns out it’s fracturing your dick and tearing the urinary tract and membranes out of your dickhole while blood shoots out of your balls.  That’ll take the #1 spot pretty easily.

Anyway not to be a jerk but I read this story and now all of you have to share the burden with me.   Good luck trying to keep this one out of the back of your head the next time you go girl on top.   Hey it shouldn’t be too bad, just keep yourself focused and keep those hands secure on her ass to guide the whole operation and make sure you don’t pull a Ray Elbe and snap your cock in half.  No pressure.