Barstool Sports

Yahoo - Although the copycat recipe for the tangy special sauce that McDonald’s uses on its Big Macs was has been floating around the Internet for awhile, the company has disclosed the exact ingredients in a new marketing video out of the business’s Canada arm. He cuts to the chase with that magic sauce. According to Coudreaut, it contains plain old mayo from the grocery store, sweet pickle relish, yellow mustard, onion powder, white wine vinegar, garlic powder, and paprika. Next, the chef chops some onion, shreds lettuce, and lays out some sliced pickles, which he emphasizes, once again, are store bought. He cuts a fat bun into three pieces and toasts them in a skillet, and presses out a perfect couple of beef patties with a cookie cutter. Now it’s time to build the burger. Layering sauce and condiments onto the “heel” and middle slice or “club” of the bun (so, that’s what the club in club sandwich is) and topping them with the beef patties, he creates a towering, wonky Big Mac “with ingredients you can find in your grocery store, locally.”

First of all this “executive chef” of McDonald’s has got to chill the fuck out.  Set up at a table in his formal white chef’s apron putting on cooking tutorials like he’s fucking Emeril or something.   Relax Bobby Flay.  Put your visor and polo shirt back on and grease the fries bro.  It’s McDonald’s.  Ain’t no executive chefs getting paid $6.50 an hour behind that counter making my burger that’s for sure.  Second of all I don’t care how specific you get with your instructions and list of ingredients.  There is no recreating the taste of a hastily made un-fresh fast food burger.  The sloppiness of the construction, the random lettuce and shit scattered all over the box looking absolutely nothing like the picture, the slightly stale bun, the 50/50 shot there’s a loogie in it hiding somewhere.  And that’s all part of the appeal.  No need to change it.   That’s what we love.   Try cooking it at home and I guarantee it’s not even close.    And third of all the Whopper is so much better than the Big Mac it’s not even funny.  Let me know when that recipe is out.