HUNTINGTON – The Marshall University Board of Governors has been dismissed as a defendant in a lawsuit involving a student attempting to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus at a fraternity party. Louis Helmburg III sued the Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity Inc. of Huntington, W.Va.; Richmond Property Group Ltd.; Travis Hughes, the man who attempted to shoot the bottle rockets; Marshall University Board of Governors; and Marshall University Interfraternal Council after he was injured when he attended a fraternity party on May 1, 2011.
At about 1:30 a.m. on May 1, 2011, the fraternity was having a house party both Louis Helmburg III and Hughes were attending, according to a complaint filed Jan. 23, 2012, in Cabell Circuit Court. Helmburg, who played for Marshall University’s baseball team at the time but wasn’t on the Thundering Herd’s 2013 roster, claimed Hughes became intoxicated and attempted to “shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck.” When doing so, Hughes startled Helmburg, who then jumped back and fell off of the deck of the fraternity house and was injured, according to the suit. He was lodged between the deck and an air conditioning unit.
Oh man, let me tell you, nothing and I mean NOTHING is worse than attempting to shoot a bottle rocket out of your anus on a frat house deck then getting startled at the last minute and falling back onto it and getting wedged in an air conditioning unit as it goes off. Try to be the hit of the party and end up with a bomb exploding in your asshole. From the penthouse to the outhouse as they say. And the worst part is this guy played it so poorly from start to finish. Only thing to do in this situation is just laugh it off and slowly slink away to seek some medical attention. You don’t hire a lawyer and sue the University and make this big stink about it. Now you’re forever known in public record as the Bottle Rocket In The Asshole Kid, and that does NOT play well on the dating scene.