Barstool Sports

(CNN) — The ground just swallowed him up.  A Florida man fell into a sinkhole that opened suddenly beneath the bedroom of his suburban Tampa home, calling out to his brother for help as he fell, a fire department spokeswoman said Friday.  ”I heard a loud crash, like a car coming through the house,” the man’s brother, Jeremy Bush, told CNN affiliate WFTS. “I heard my brother screaming and I ran back there and tried going inside his room, but my old lady turned the light on and all I seen was this big hole, a real big hole, and all I saw was his mattress.” The sinkhole is naturally occurring and appears to be about 100 feet (30 meters) across, based on estimates made by engineers using radar, and it may be as deep as 50 feet, authorities say. 

I woke up so grumpy this morning.  Didn’t get enough sleep, had a little bit of a wine hangover, was pissed it wasn’t the weekend yet, temperature was a little too hot and the sheets were sticking to me and shit.  Had fucking Duke fans all over my Twitter and blog yelling at me for pointing out Duke lost.  Just one of those days where you want to call in sick and just curl up and watch Netflix and not deal with the world.  Well imagine how fucking awesome I feel now that I realize I didn’t wake up dead swallowed by a 100 FOOT SINKHOLE??  That my entire floor didn’t open up into the bowels of hell and swallow me whole and drag me down into like the Earth’s mantel?   Now THAT is a shit morning.    Absolutely terrifying.  Nature, such a motherfucker.