TSG – After calling 911 to complain that his ex-wife was withholding five cans of Milwaukee’s Best beer, a tipsy Ohio man hit on the female emergency operator, asking for her “personal phone number” and remarking, “You sound kinda pretty.” John Bansley, 46, was arrested Monday morning on an open container charge, shortly after purchasing a six-pack at a market in Avon Lake. After being cited by police, Bansley was transported to the home of his former spouse, who agreed to take custody of him (and his remaning five beers).
But when the woman refused his subsequent request to turn over the beer, Bansley called the Avon Police Department for help in recovering his suds. While simultaneously quarreling with his ex-wife, Bansley told the police operator, “It’s a fight over a beer.” As Bansley explains the dispute over the beer, the operator can be heard whispering–apparently to a cop being dispatched–“They are arguing over his beer.”
After telling Bansley that she was sending an officer to his wife’s home, the operator said, “Well, if you need anything else call me back, okay?” Bansley replied, “Well, you got a personal phone number? You sound kinda pretty.” The police employee declined Bansley’s digit gambit.
Jesus what terrible night with the ladies this guy had. First the over-controlling ex-wife counting his beers and reminding him how much he drank every 5 seconds and hiding the rest of his booze when she thinks he’s had enough. Then the stuck up prissy cunt who tattled on him for flirting with her over the 911 line. Just some buzzkill bitch everywhere he turns. It’s stories like this that makes you kind of agree with gay dudes. Just so much less hassle.
PS – one of my biggest pet peeves in life is people who criticize what you’re drinking or what you decide to get drunk on. Beer snobs, liquor snobs, etc. Having said that if you’re 46 years old and still drinking Beast it’s probably time to reevaluate your life, although the fact you’re calling 911 over hidden beer and asking the operator out on a date because she has a pretty voice may have been a warning sign for that anyway.