Barstool Sports

Muncie – A Muncie man was arrested this week on allegations he battered his sister after she criticized how much maple syrup he had placed on his pancakes. Joseph Eugene Perry Jr., 47, was preliminarily charged with battery and strangulation. He remained in the Delaware County jail on Wednesday under a $7,500 bond. Police were called to a home in the 1200 block of South Liberty Street late Tuesday morning after Perry allegedly grabbed his accuser’s neck and pushed her head against a cabinet. An officer said the alleged victim had marks on the right side of her neck. She declined emergency medical treatment. Perry maintained the woman “attacked him because he used too much syrup,” according to a police report.

Fucking siblings.  The absolute worst.  Take half your parents affection.  Half their money.  You get half the gifts at Christmas and Hannukah.  Always got to share rooms on vacations and shit.   Then they have the balls to criticize the amount of maple syrup you put on your pancakes.  Hey sis newsflash we’re not in the sandbox anymore.  You can’t pick on me and steal my toys and put make up on me and dress me up and make me parade around in front of your friends.   I’m 47 years old and if want to douse my flapjacks in motherfucking gallons of Aunt Jemima I’m gonna let that shit flow like a river.    Mrs. Buttersworth all up in this bitch.    So much fucking syrup you could drown yourself in the plate.  Shut up or get beat up.  Anyway more importantly.  Is Aunt Jemima the most racist character ever?   Seriously how is she allowed?   I was looking through Google Images for a picture for the blog and felt like I should be at a Klan rally or something.