Barstool Sports

Kitsap Sun- A 20-year-old Belfair man has been charged with assault after he allegedly put methamphetamine in his wife’s cigarette without her knowledge. The man told his wife, 22, that he wanted her to experience a meth high so that she’d understand why he likes it so much, according to a report filed by Bremerton police. The wife called police to her East Bremerton home Sunday. She said that Saturday, while they were at the house with their two children, her husband had offered her a cigarette. She said that when she started “freaking out,” her husband told her he had put meth in the cigarette. The husband allegedly told two friends that he had a “15-point plan” to get his wife addicted to meth. The woman, who told police she’d never knowingly done meth, was taken to an area hospital for treatment. A family friend took their children. 

Only someone on meth could come up with a 15 point plan to get someone else addicted. You could show this story to someone with OCD who’s addicted to Adderall and they would probably be impressed by the level of dedication. From an objective standpoint this seems pretty simple operation: 1. Give your wife meth 2. Repeat until your wife is addicted to meth. I don’t know what this guy had in mind, but I do know that my plan is 13 less steps and probably 99% as effective as whatever he had dreamed up. The problem is the more you need things to go right, the more it’s virtually guaranteed that shit is going to go wrong somewhere along the line. If you need more than 10 things to come together perfectly in order to reach your final goal, it stops being a plan and starts being a Die Hard movie. I know the meth probably clouded his judgement a little bit, but either keep it simple or don’t even bother.