Barstool Sports

Gizmodo – A group of dedicated fun-havers over at SmartThings has devised an ingenius contraption that will automatically dispense a shot of liquor each time a medal is awarded to an Olympic athlete representing team USA. The shot machine connects to the internet using the SmartThings platform; the shots are poured automatically, upon medal announcement, or they can be dispensed manually via the SmartThings medal app—Jack Daniels for Bronze, Jose Cuervo for Silver, and Goldschläger for Gold.

Listen you may not be a big fan of the Olympics and think it’s just a bunch of dumb fake sports getting their one moment in the sun but one thing is undeniable.  They make you patriotic as fuck.   Pulling hard for random chicks in leotards and dudes in Speedos you’ve never heard of before in sports you’ve never seen before all because of the USA on their chest.   And I can’t think of one thing to top it all off and make me love this country even more than I already do than the Olympic Medal Auto Shot Machine.    Probably the most American thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  Amazing.    It goes like Colt revolver,  A-Bomb, Internet, and SmartThing shot machine as most badass American inventions through history.    A perfect storm of all things American.  Medal domination and athleticism mixed with technology and brainpower mixed with hard liquor and getting fucked up.  Everything that sums up a motherfucking superpower and a half.