Barstool Sports

MALVERNE, N.Y. (CBSNewYork) — One Malverne couple was enjoying the mild night Thursday when they became covered by sludge as a plane taking off from Kennedy Airport flew overhead. “A plane was coming over. Next thing you know she says ‘Oh my God it’s raining.’ I said ‘No it’s not’,” Artie Hughes told 1010 WINS’ Sonia Rincon. “Some black liquid, black oil came off on her face, and I walked around and I looked and said ‘Oh my God.’ There was quarter-sized, nickel-sized, dime-sized drops all over my deck, my barbecue, my table,” he said. Thinking something was wrong with the plane, they called police. “It was oily in substance, blackish-greenish oil. I thought it was hydraulic fluid and then the policeman came down and said ‘No I don’t think so. Looks like something nastier than that’,” Hughes said. The officer suspected it was most likely treated sewage, returning after making several phone calls for confirmation. “He had spoken to somebody down at either the Port Authority or the FAA and said ‘Yeah, it looks like there was an incident,” he said. “Some lavatory excrement had leaked out.” The couple tell Rincon they just want an explanation, and for this kind of incident to not happen again.

Top 3 worst thing that can happen to you?  This has got to be on the list right?  Sitting on your porch with your wife enjoying a nice crisp evening getting some fresh air when all of a sudden a fucking airplane toilet full of shit gets dumped on your face?  Oh and you live on Long Island.  Just doesn’t get any more rock bottom than that.

Got to admire the restraint on old Artie Hughes though.  Not screaming at anybody.  Not suing anybody.  All he wants is an explanation and to prevent this kind of incident from happening again.  The incident of him getting other people’s diarrhea poured in his mouth from 30,000 feet.  Poop droplets scattered all over his sprinklers and Weber grill and shit.     Pretty much a complete and utter life ruiner and all Artie Hughes is worried about is making sure nobody else has the misfortune of getting a toilet spilled on their head.   Much bigger man than me that’s for sure.  A man with E.Coli and the worst case of Pink Eye you’ve ever seen but a bigger man nonetheless.