Barstool Sports

Business Week- After the Los Angeles City Council adopted an ordinance earlier this year, it appointed a committee to study how such a law might be enforced. After months of committee meetings, the city’s administrative officer issued a 47-page report Wednesday offering some proposals. Among them: contracting with a licensed medical professional to conduct periodic inspections of film productions to ensure condoms are being used. The law was adopted in January after the AIDS Healthcare Foundation gathered enough petition signatures to put the issue before the city’s voters. Along with considering hiring a prophylactic policeman, the city’s administrative officer also suggested officials implement a fee to pay for inspections. An amount wasn’t suggested, but the report estimated it could range anywhere from $3,472 to $2,204, depending upon how many film permits for adult movies are issued. The report also said a study by the Los Angeles Fire Department indicates that more than 100 condom cops might be needed to adequately enforce the law, at a cost of $1.7 million or more a year. Industry officials have said many smaller companies don’t bother to get permits, while the larger ones film many of their movies on closed studio sets, which are exempted from the new law.

Feitelberg covered this a few months ago when the ordinance originally got the OK, but despite everyone with an internet connection rebelling to their keyboards it looks like the worst law to pass since the 19th and 21st amendments isn’t going away anytime soon. As a result, in a giant twist of irony Porno Cop is no longer just the title of a shitty robot porn shot in an warehouse in the city of Los Angeles, but an actual a job paid for by the city of Los Angeles.  My initial reaction was that this wouldn’t be a bad gig, but the more I thought about it I realized unless you’re a nursing student with a voyeur fetish this has to be the worst job in the entire world. When it comes down to it your job is to drive around LA and look at dicks. That’s it. I don’t know how you verify that the condom placement is up to the standards of the LA health code, but I assume it’s not fun for anyone involved. Plus anyone who’s ever been online knows that the porn industry suffers from Nude Beach Syndrome: You’re hoping for a bunch of hot women, but the reality is anyone’s allowed to be naked even though most of them shouldn’t be. Life isn’t Tori Black putting on a show for you every time you go to work, it’s having to stand in the corner of a hotel room where a hooker was murdered the night before watching two fat people bang from an angle no one wants to see.