Barstool Sports

The Dagger – If John Calipari loses a recruit to a fellow college basketball juggernaut, it certainly won’t be because living conditions at Kentucky were inadequate. Calipari posted a video on his website Monday giving viewers an MTV Cribs-style tour of Kentucky’s newly renovated Wildcat Coal Lodge, which will house the basketball team beginning this school year. The $7 million privately funded dormitory is located directly adjacent to Kentucky’s practice facility and athletic tutoring facility for maximum convenience.

1. ITINERARY FLAT SCREENS: Kentucky players will have no excuse for being late to anything from now on. Flat screens scattered throughout the lodge display individual players’ schedules for practices, classes and weight lifting and conditioning.

2. PLUSH SEATS: The lounge at the lodge features about a dozen leather recliners situated around a giant flat-screen TV.

3. POOL, ANYONE? Among the items in the  lounge is a blue felt pool table matching the various Kentucky basketball murals and championship banners hanging from the walls.

4. WHAT A FIRST IMPRESSION: The first thing any future recruit sees upon entering the lodge is a display case that holds Kentucky’s eight national championship trophies.

5. ATTENTION TO DETAIL: Proof that Kentucky thought of just about everything: Sinks designed with a center in mind. “For me to wash my hands on this sink, the sink is kind of high,” says Calipari, standing in front of the sink in 6-foot-8 Kyle Wiltjer’s dorm room. “But everything in here is for 7-footers. We want to make sure a 7-footer is comfortable.”

6. A PRIVATE CHEF: Head chef Chris Cain explained to Calipari that Kentucky players who want a grilled cheese sandwich, burger or cheese steak can make a special order and their meals will be done in minutes.

7. SUBTLE REMINDERS: In case current players or future recruits somehow missed the murals featuring Anthony Davis, John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins in the lounge, the dorm hallway features another reminder of Calipari’s proclivity for producing NBA talent. The wall features a list of Wildcats drafted by NBA teams and photos of former Kentucky players currently in the NBA.

8. SINGLE ROOMS

Looks just like my freshman dorm!  When I’d hop out of my leather recliner with personal flat screen to go tell my personal chef that I want a burger.

My favorite part is the  ”NBA Draft” wall.  Yeah Coach Cal wants all his players to stay in college and get a 4 year education and it’s not his fault they all leave after one year because he really pushes them to do what they think is right.  Oh and here’s a gigantic wall outside your bedroom featuring this year’s draft order and our famous NBA players.  Hilarious.   Oh and for the record I could care less.   I don’t mind Coach Cal and I have absolutely zero problem with Kentucky being a one and done basketball factory.    In fact I support it.   You’re not going to pay them while you make millions of dollars off them they should go get their money.  They’re not trying to fool anybody and go to school to be rocket scientists.  They hoop and they have pro talent so they’re following their dream.  Good for them.  It would just be nice if Cal didn’t lie to my face about it.