CNN- If Congress passes the COINS Act replacing the $1 paper bill for a coin, the U.S. government may be able to save billions in printing costs at the expense of a little more jangle in the average consumers’ pockets. But what about the strippers? That’s what The Hill newspaper asked one of the bill’s co-sponsors, Sen. John McCain, in a piece published Thursday. The question came from a separate 2011 story where the publication suggested strippers could suffer in a bill-less economy, with G-strings and garter belts far less accommodating of cold metal. For his part, the Arizona Republican responded in stride in a Capitol Hill hallway. “Then I hope that they could obtain larger denominations,” McCain reportedly told The Hill. According to The Hill, the 76 year-old McCain started answering questions from another reporter before a smile spread across his face and he shouted down the hallway to The Hill, “Fives, tens, one hundreds!”
I don’t vote but if Congress ever decides to replace dollar bills with coins I will do everything in my power to make sure to make the life of every single elected official in favor of the change a living hell. You can make an argument for almost any side of a political issue but this is absolutely indefensible. Might as well get rid of physical money entirely or sell everything in $5 increments because that shit is not going to work for me and I’m sure I’m not the only who feels that way. Anyway, McCain. Really glad to see he stopped giving a fuck once he realized he’s never going to be president because now he can say shit like this, which is as hilarious as it is thought provoking (mildly). As far as I’m concerned this ends one of three ways: 1. People actually give strippers more money 2. Strip clubs take a page of out the Tip Drill book but figure out a technology where you can actually be charged for swiping you card in a stripper’s ass or 3. People adopt the $1 and start going to strip clubs so they can masturbate, flip a coin on stage and say “Sorry about the mess” because that would be funny every time.